This blog hasn’t died. It’s just going through a revamp
Thank you for your patience as I hit the reset button for preparation for 2021
This blog hasn’t died. It’s just going through a revamp
Thank you for your patience as I hit the reset button for preparation for 2021
Friday, 9 October 2020
Naturally, when one is awake at *checks time* 3:30am, one does what one normally does. She decides to write a blog.
This is, of course, after weeks and weeks and weeks of not writing a damn thing due to not having much to say – but now, while one is forcibly awake due to suffering the worst bout of Hay Fever she’s had in 5 years ( and whilst getting over the worst bout of Cellulitis she’s had in 3 years) it’s the perfect time to open ones brain and empty out the trash … er I mean contents … thoughts …. Oh, whatever, it’s too early and I’m doing this with no caffeine so give me a break!
Where to start? Firstly, it’s October. Yes, I know. There’s no need to remind me. Second, here’s a quick recap to catch you up:
There. That’s about it
I really should write more. This much is true. But, after being in a state of lockdown since March and not really gone anywhere or done anything … I really don’t have anything of any significance to say
I haven’t written a blog in……
Oh alright. Shut up. I know. But I’m back now and that’s all that matters.
Speaking of backs – at time of writing, mine is completely ruined. I’ve not seen my Chiropractor or my massage therapist for almost 8 weeks. For most of this week I have been suffering from either a pulled muscle or pinched nerve in my back.
Whenever I sneeze or cough it hurts. When I take a breath in, it hurts. I turn to the left it hurts. Sometimes I twitch (which happens a lot thanks to my other on-going medical conditions) and I spasm for a good 10-15 seconds and struggle to breathe. This has been my lot since last Tuesday – after I did a slow and steady pace on my rower. I stood up, after I finished and then… Hello agony. I am on a dose of fairly hefty pain killers – but if it doesn’t settle properly soon – another visit to the doctor will be on the cards.
However, the reason for this blog (after an absence of around a month and a half, I’m going to give you a brief rundown of what’s been happening in my life
Speaking of the Fandom…. There’s been a few instances of late that have truly rubbed me the wrong way. At first, I wasn’t going to talk about it. But recent events have left me no other choice but to talk about it.
From the top:
If you’re here, you’re part of the fandom. You’re here because you fell in love with the books or TV show (or both) known as Outlander. On the surface, we’re one of the most supportive fandoms out there – but, if you’ve been here a long time – You tend to notice subtle shifts when things change – and more often than not – It’s not a very positive experience.
Our (not so) friendly neighbourhood troll returns
Our friendly Neighbourhood troll is back. That’s right. Taylor (Or Taj-meh-nope as I call her) is back and desperately trying to become the centre of Sam Heughan’s attention, by pointing out how someone she’s targeted for bullying and harassment, is somehow Sexually Objectifying him by way of making Memes.
(Oh, and if you wish, you can read my personal encounter with the troll queen – you can do so here:
I knew it wouldn’t take you long to clue in. You know exactly who I’m talking about don’t you? Anyway, Taj-Meh-Nope is, well, trying. Trying everyone’s patience mostly, but she’s still trying. Never mind the fact the person she’s trolling has met Sam in person at NOLA. Never mind the fact Sam himself approves of the memes and loves them and never mind that to this very day Sam keeps in touch with the person we’re talking about on a fairly regular basis. Taj-Meh-Nope insists she’s doing the fandom a service by being the ultimate school yard ‘tattle tale’ by telling Sam what she thinks. It’s laughable really. I mean, it’s bad enough Taj hates on Cait on a regular basis (and makes no secret of it either if you’ve read my blog) but to sink the boot into someone so nice and supportive is just despicable behaviour.
Speaking of which, there’s been a noticeable shift in this fandom regarding the lead actors of the show. On the surface, this is nothing new. We still love them -it’s just that, depending on the day, one of them may get more support than the other due to whatever announcement they make or project they’re working on or in conjunction with.
However, in the year of our lord 2020 (and in so continuing with the ongoing theme that this year sucks) there is a new breed of fan among us. Two actually.
Until recently, I thought these kinds of people only lived in the deepest, darkest corners of Tumblr. (You know the type. They make a big song and dance about how the OL fandom isn’t the place for them anymore – but they don’t really leave.)
It turns out I was wrong.
They’re on twitter as well.
Shades are those within the fandom who have become a STAN account for one of the leading actors (only) for the sole purpose of using their newfound STAN status to be mean and nasty about the other.
It’s funny, because they will disappear away from twitter for a while ( usually after a shot of fandom drama involving one of the lead actors) and suddenly there they are – Their account has had a complete overhaul and they claim to all who cares (to listen) that they are now a stand-alone STAN account for *insert actors name here* from now on and that’s the end of it.
Meanwhile, real stans are standing around, scratching their heads in confusion and are like “Hi, listen, why are you reverse parking your clown car into our lane? Do you realise you and your ridiculous looking automobile are holding up traffic?”
They see you; you fool!
We all see you! We see you cackling like banshees in your corner. Being all spiteful and mean about the one that only a few short months ago, you would, if given the opportunity, kissed their ass.
Makes you worse than a troll to be honest. And that’s saying something.
“Praising Private lifers”
Thankfully, these fans were a flash in the pan for about 15 minutes but still worthy of a mention (albeit brief)
These guys went out of their way to sing the praises of those Sam and Cait associated with in their private lives – thinking that those in that circle were all that and a bag of chips.
As everyone knows, private lives are never discussed and to do so shows a severe lack of respect for their privacy. I think we can all agree on that and leave it there. Cool?
And on that note. I’m out.
Thanks for reading
I haven’t written a blog in 5 weeks.
Seems like a lifetime ago now. It was…. To be honest. So much has changed in that time.
Normally, I’d tell you to strap in and hang on to your hat as I regaled you with my goings on … but really, this isn’t one of those type of blogs. It’s just a brief update on life.
In dot points … so you don’t get bored.
Yes, I know that was a play on words. And It was horrible. And yes, I’ll show myself out later.
It’s been just over 5 weeks and I’m only just starting to come good now. When they said it takes time to heal – they weren’t kidding!
In the last few weeks I’ve indulged in a wee bit of retail therapy. I’ve gotten a new computer chair, a foot stool, a handmade doll and some new resistance bands. I don’t do this very often – so this was a bit of a treat to myself
Three weeks ago – I found out a Twitter buddy of mine (and many others) passed away during routine back surgery. She was a huge Sam Heughan and Outlander fan and we bonded straight away. I’ve been twitter friends with her for many years. She was also a member of My Peak Challenge. When the news of her passing spread across both the outlander fandom and the Peaker Family, it broke all our hearts. We will miss her very much. I will miss her very much.
Yep. We’re week … I don’t know … into a 6 week lock down and as of today it’s mandatory to wear a mask whenever you are in public. Failure to do so will result in a $200 fine.
That’s all I’m gonna say on that.
Overall, July has been a sucky month. I’ve had more work-related technical issues than I care to count (and when you’re working from home it’s even worse) and it’s just been flat out busy.
Visits to my various Dr’s and specialist continue – even during a stage 3 lock down – which I’m incredibly grateful for.
On the fitness front – I’ll admit I’m failing dismally, and the sciatica hasn’t helped any. I can’t use my rower bike and that makes me upset. It’s my main form of exercise and not being able to use it at the moment is as frustrating as all get out.
Oh, and it turns out I’ve had this blog for 6 year.
Huh. Imagine that.
Time flies when you hardly have anything to say
Thanks for reading
For the moment, anyway.
At time of writing, I am struggling though a bout of what’s believed to be Sciatica. I’ve never had it before, and I have to tell you – the pain is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my entire life.
It started last Tuesday night after a fairly light PT session. I’d done nothing out of the ordinary and was finishing up a set of assisted box squats. I felt nothing as I made to leave the building or as I said my goodbyes and that I’d see them next week. I walked outside and turned the corner to head towards the car park when suddenly the most excruciating, fire burning, almost blackout inducing pain I have ever experienced screamed though the top of my right thigh.
My Husband (bless him) had to help me more or less limp to the carpark and by the time I got to the car I was in tears.
That night I took some Nerofen and hoped for the best.
The following day, I woke and found my right knee on fire. I was holding on to walls, limping to go to the bathroom and the same when I had to go down for breakfast. I took some Panadol (was all we had) and prayed.
Hubby went to work as per the norm, and I struggled with my normal morning routine of feeding kittens, preparing a salad for dinner and making my lunch for the day. By the time I got to the point of having a shower – I could barely stand up and it was all I could not too scream from the pain.
I called Hubby (and I thank all the Gods, the moon and the stars) that he was near his phone and picked up – or I swear I would have been completely lost – and begged him to come home and be with me as I couldn’t move.
He was with me within 10 minutes and I’m forever glad he was, trust me on this. He spent the next two days picking up scripts for pain relief and helping me do simple things like shower and dress, make it to the loo and get in and out of bed.
He returned to work on Friday ( I had called in for sick leave so that was all sorted) and I was able, at the very least, hobble about on my own – albeit slowly – and I was under strict instructions to do a grand total of nothing.
Which I dutifully obeyed.
On Saturday, I had an appointment with my Chiropractor, Dr Jen.
It didn’t help matters that my leg gave out trying to get out of the shower that morning and I ended up grazing my hip and my right knee and slicing my big toe on my right foot open. Hubby was beside himself (and it would be fair to suggest that perhaps I used up 7 of his nine lives in that moment) but between the two of us and some calm, rational, thinking, we were able to haul my wet ass out of the shower and get me dressed.
Managed to make to my appointment on time (and thankfully one piece) and Dr Jen went to work. To say that it hurt would be the understatement of the year – but there you go. It was a ‘cruel to be kind’ measure and so I appreciated it on that level at least. (Side note: I go back to her this evening for round two)
Sunday saw me at my local GP clinic for some more painkillers. I still wasn’t fairing great so, thankfully Hubby was able to dust off ye olde wheelchair (never thought I’d ever see that again) and wheel me into the office.
Now, I am never one to speak ill of people – especially those whose job it is to assist me on my ongoing journey as a science experiment – but suffice to say …this one??? Wasn’t great. Firstly, he made me get up on to the bed and lay on my back (This in itself was painful x 3000) and then made me lift both legs up (one after the other) and pushed back on my right foot. I was in a flood of tears and I began to wonder if those sitting in the waiting room were wondering if I was going to die because I was howling in agony so much!
He prescribed some extra strong pain medication, took my blood pressure ( Which, naturally, in the moment was high), lectured me on how not to become addicted to strong pain killers and how I should continue with the course of Blood Pressure meds he gave me the other week. Then he told me to come back and see him in 10 days and I left.
I took one of those meds he gave me and *Not* to my surprise – they did nothing and didn’t even take the edge of the pain.
I’m currently making my way through a packet of Advil and they seem to be doing the job just fine. Funny that, huh?
The thing that annoys me most about this is that I feel I have gone all the way back to square one. That everything I’ve done. All the progress I’ve made – has all been for naught. Because of this one, small thing I have to start all over again. And that is just not fair.
I haven’t been able to do much of anything. No Cardio. No weights. I tried stretching it out and almost passed out because of the pain. All I’ve been able to do is sit (and even that is uncomfortable at the moment) and kick my leg out from the knee down – just to keep it moving. Walking has been slow and deliberate; although I am pleased to report that I can, as of today, put weight on the heel of my right foot without it hurting too much which is something I guess but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m facing weeks ( possibly months) of starting again… and that makes me so mad I could cry.
Today marks 3 years since I discovered the Outlander fandom… and Oh! What a journey its been.
Not being on Twitter at the moment (and I’ll be discussing that in this blog as well) I don’t really have an outlet to help me celebrate this milestone – so this blog will have to do.
First, let me begin by saying that, overall, my experience in the Outlander fandom has been nothing short of amazing. It’s been a positive place where ideas are shared, stories are written and honest, open discourse takes place on a regular basis. We can laugh together, cry together, scream and shout together and embrace fangirling in all its facets without facing much in the way of criticism from the outside world.
For the people who I have met, befriended and who have let me be silly and fan right there with them – I think you from the bottom of my heart. You have made the last 3 years of my life some of the best and, should I ever get the chance to meet you in person…. Well, let’s just say you will get the biggest hug you’ve ever received in your entire life!
That said, these very same folk have been there for me when the shit has hit the fan. When the fandom is buried under mountains of hypocrisy, of bullshit, of shady lanes, of he said-she said-they said, of subtweets, of infighting, gaslighting and name calling. The countless number of hissy- fits and the “Oh! Everyone! Look at me! I’m deleting 11ty hundred Outlander photos off my phone! Oh! It’s sooooooo freeing! Look at me everyone! Aren’t you proud?” bullshit artists.
They’ve been there when I’ve ranted and raved and carried on like a two-bob watch. When I’ve lost the plot and ended up in tears of stress and frustration and had to call it a day. When my happy place is naught more than a half assed attempt at a lean to and it’s about to come crashing down around my ears -They’ve not gone anywhere and for that I am eternally grateful. It’s because of these folks I won’t leave this fandom. I love show. I love the cast and crew and I love the world Diana Gabaldon has created but my fandom friends mean the world to me and I wouldn’t swap them for all the red headed Scotsman in the Highlands!
So, here’s to another year of shenanigans – once I get back to Twitter that is.
Speaking of which, it’s been 6 days since I decided I needed a twitter break. I have to say, unlike previous years (or times) when I’ve done this – this one is proving strangely difficult… and I’m struggling to come up with as to why.
I began by deleting the app from both my phone and my desktop. (I haven’t worried about my iPad as I don’t use it that much anyway) and I thought I’d be fine. I have a lot to focus on. With working from home and trying to keep the “New Normal” routine I am constantly finding something to do. But, at the same time … I feel lonely. Not having the app there left me feeling cut off from the rest of the fandom. I mean, sure, Facebook has its moments – if you’re willing to overlook the sheer lunacy of it all – but it’s nothing like Twitter. Not even Tumblr – for all its meme type glory – is like twitter. So, yesterday … I caved and reinstalled the app on my phone.
I haven’t logged in. This much is true at least…. But I feel better seeing it there on my phone. It doesn’t matter as much on my desktop as I don’t tweet much from there as a rule… but there it is. It’s official, I think. I am suffering separation anxiety from an app. Of all the things that I should be considering important in my life right now – not seeing an app on my phone rates as one of my highest.
I may delete the app again as the month goes on. We’ll see. But man, to be so dependent on an app … When did I become that guy? 2020 what have you done?
In other news, I’ve had my first appointment with a Nero-Chiropractor. It was all a series of tests involving my balance and hand/eye coordination. We discussed my various medical conditions at length, and he asked me a series of questions relating to my sleeping patterns and my diet, what other methods I’d tried in the past relating to pain relief and so forth. My appointment went for 2 whole hours and cost and arm and a leg but I’m hopeful it’ll be worth it in the end. He wanted me to invest in a small handheld, vibrating massage device to help with the stimulation of my nerve centres. I managed to find one online at The Shaver Shop for about $16.00 (I tried the apps first and discovered they were shit and did nothing) so I ordered that last night after work.
It’s a long weekend this weekend here in Victoria and apart from writing this blog and a few letters… my goal is to do nothing but relax
Thanks for reading,
Let me cut right to the chase. From tomorrow (more specifically after 10am Monday June 1st) I’m taking a twitter break.
Don’t worry, I’m not doing what I did last time and deleting my account … I’m simply going to be deleting the App from my phone for a bit.
One of the things I’ve learnt over recent weeks is this: Twitter takes up waaaaaaay too much of my time. I’m on it almost constantly during my waking hours and I can’t seem to leave it alone.
It’s affecting me mentally and it’s making me sad. There’s so much drama going on right now that I just don’t want to look at it anymore.
Not only that, its cutting into the time I should be spending with my Hubby. Whenever we watch TV, I always have my phone with me – so, I’m constantly checking tweets – when I should be focusing on what we’re watching.
So, I’m taking a break. Till the end of June anyway. It’ll give me time to refocus on what’s important to me. My mental health and my physical health.
Not gonna lie. The Iso-weight I’ve gained since March is starting to cause problems. My balance is being affected, my back, shoulders and knees hurt, my blood-pressure has skyrocketed (I am now taking a course of Blood Pressure meds to help bring it down and seeing my Dr on a weekly basis to get it tested) and the fact I’m spending most of my time on twitter rather than exercising – says a lot.
Sure, I still go to PT every week (and I don’t take my phone with me so there’s that) but that was it. When I wasn’t asleep – I was on Twitter. So, it’s got to stop. Starting tomorrow – after the Virtual MPC Gala.
Tomorrow at 6am MPC is going live for the 2020 MPC Peaker Gala. Normally, it’s an event held in Scotland. Peaker’s from all over the world go there for a weekend of workouts, a hike and a Gala dinner. This year’s one was postponed due to Covid-19 so they’ve made a virtual one for everyone (Peaker or not) to take part in. (Note: I mean 6am AEST. It’s like 9pm or something in Scotland so there’s no need to panic. HAHA)
This week sees my 3rd week working from home. I’m on 10-6pm. I have to say … I’m not in the slightest bit fussed by this – because I’m working from home. I don’t have to struggle with anything and I’m not sitting down for dinner at 8:30pm. I can still have dinner at a reasonable hour, and everything is just chill. I have no stress. No worries and no noise. We’ve got working from home directives till the end of June (Vic’s state of emergency has been extended to the 21st June) and I can’t begin to tell you how happy that makes me. To be able to have a routine again is brilliant.
This blog is a short one. Hopefully during my twitter break I can spend more time on this and turn it into something worth while
Thanks for reading,
It’s been a couple of weeks. Sorry about that. Life kind of got in the way in the form of the Outlander finale, high blood pressure, the commencement of working from home and the aggravation of an old injury in my right knee.
So, as you can see, it’s been a lot.
So, where are things now?
For me, I have officially started working from home. After effectively 8 weeks of Long Service Leave – I returned to work in the office for 1 day (May 14th) to collect my trusty laptop, get it set up and prepped to work from home for at least the next two weeks. (I’m hoping it’s going to continue longer than that, but we’ll see) I have to say, having only done it for two days so far – I’m thoroughly enjoying it. In the 10 years I’ve been at my job, this is the happiest I have felt in a long time.
On a personal note, it means less stress and worry for my Husband. At least, if I’m working from home, he knows where I am and that I’m going to be OK. (Plus, added bonus… every so often I may get a cup of emotional support soup. Which is always nice)
The nightmares have stopped. Which is a relief. During my 8 weeks away (In self-preservation Isolation) I suffered terrible nightmares which often left me feeling utterly miserable, and, on one particular occasion, waking up in the middle of the night in tears. They varied from being stuck in an elevator between Heaven and Hell while being surrounded by Avenger zombies to being lost in giant dental surgeries from the 1960’s to being told I needed to help Covid-19 patients be transported from one place to another while not able to find any PPE to protect me.
I know I had others but (thankfully) I can’t remember them all.
There’s also the issue of Iso-weight. Not gonna lie. I reckon I’ve gained close to 10 kgs (or 22LBs) in the last 8 weeks. I swear, if you were to cut me open you would discover my insides would be made up of Humus and crackers, blocks of Cadbury’s marble chocolate, noodles and tuna, bags of crisps and litres and litres of white wine.
Now, while yes, there have been regular meals with salad thrown in and not a single ounce of take away consumed in that time – it doesn’t change the fact that I have gained weight. Comfort eating is a curse and when your routine is thrown into disarray by a global pandemic that forces your hand to stay home – you tend to forget what your routine is after a while. One day just kind of blurs into another and your entire wardrobe consists of daytime and night-time pyjamas.
The idea of wearing a Bra (as mentioned above) is quite the novel concept at the moment. It turns out I can’t quite use my boobs as a hair tie (that’s how long I’ve gone without a bra folks) but it was getting pretty damn close! WFH came about just in time!
Finally, the only other thing I have to discuss is what’s been happening in the Outlander fandom since the finale… And the truth is…. not much.
Granted, we wailed and cried and cheered and marvelled at the brilliant, award winning performances given by Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe when the finale aired – and we were still dying over it a week later … But outside of that… There’s been not a lot going on. Oh, there’s been the Fandom Police trying to start drama for the sake of it of course, but honestly? I think everyone is just over the drama in this fandom. It’s exhausting and let’s be honest… There’s more important shit happening in the world than a thirst post. So, I’m glad folks are just letting things be.
So, I guess that means this is the new normal huh? Don’t sweat the little things and be prepared for the big things and don’t panic about the rest.
It’s kind of nice.
I like it
Listen to your inner self..it has all the answers..
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