Lights… Camera … Action?


I’m pretty much ready to go. I’ve got everything I need. I’ve decided on my video layout. I’ve worked out how to Edit, use B- Roll, how to add Voice Over and Music. I have my Intro and Outro ready to go to be added to my video. I’ve got my lights and my filming space.

I’ve vlogged using my phone while sitting in the car – regularly over the last month or so to practise.

I have uploaded a video to the Tube Of You already. It settings are on private while I tinker with the annotations function – to ensure I get the look right (and the links in the right places)

I’ve changed the name, layout and function of my social media platforms so many times over the last few months – I’ve honestly lost track of most of them.

Originally, I wanted something to show that I really enjoyed being on the internet but the more I worked with that idea, the bigger the impression was that I was going to be a social media app expert – which was not the case at all.  I just wanted to be me. A louder and more confident version of myself. Someone who just talked bulltwang into a camera once a week about anything.  If I think about it – I’d probably look like an overweight Bogan who’s thoughts on things were by and large laughed at and you know what? That’s perfectly OK. I don’t mind being laughed at. It’s pretty much my whole point of doing these videos… And yet, I’ve not made a single video. Not one.

So, the question I’m sitting here asking myself is – Why haven’t I uploaded a proper video yet?  What am I waiting for? Do I want to get it “Just so?” Am I waiting for the perfect day to film?

Take yesterday for example… I spent hours and hours with a tripod experimenting with my phone, my I-pad and camera to see which could get the best picture quality. And you know what I discovered? That it didn’t matter. The picture quality was the same regardless what I used. Still, I did not upload anything.

I think the reason is fear to be honest. I’m terrified that what I upload into the public domain isn’t going to be good enough. It’s not going to look as shiny or as pretty or be as entertaining as everyone else. That I’m going to look too fat on camera (That being said – today I discovered I fit into an old size 16 pair of jeans and the belt that I wore with – also fit and allowed me to go two belt notches in) or that because I don’t wear make up (personal choice) It’s going to make me look weird.

I hate doubts. I wish they would just F Off!

Seriously! Take this blog right now. I’m writing it in a Microsoft Word document so I can correct any spelling mistakes before posting it! “ And why is that?” I hear you ask. Because it simply has to look right. Amateurish sure. But, right nonetheless.

Tomorrow is Feb 1st. Tomorrow is the day I told myself my first video would go live.

We’ll see how that goes eh?

Thanks for reading,



Published by SeigeCeej

My name is CJ Cross But, you can call me Ceej. I've done a lot of things in my life. I've been born, grown up, went to school ( several of them in fact) left school, spent time unemployed, got a job, learned to drive, got a car and got my licence. I fell in love, got Married and swapped the idea of having Children with the idea of having cats. So far, this is an arrangement that works for me. I have hobbies and interests. Some of these include: Collecting notebooks Mucking about on Social Media Binge Watching TV shows My favourite things include whisky, chocolate, pasta, ice cream and Irish breakfast tea. I've dabbled in Stand-Up-Comedy, Stage Management and making Creative Content for Youtube... all of which fell flat .. which is why I am trying to blog now.

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