One of the things that happens when you’re taking the day off work – is eventually, for lack of anything better to do – You write a blog.
Firstly, I need everyone to understand – this is not a planned absence. I had all intention of working today.
Fate it seemed had other ideas… Or in this case, it’s lesser known 3rd cousin “Oh FFS! Are you kidding me, really?” had other ideas.
No, I’m serious, currently as I let this stream of conscious thought spew forth from my brain– I am forced to sit still. I say forced, because if I move, I end up in agonising pain. You see, yesterday morning, whilst doing nothing of consequence, I tore the muscle around my right shoulder blade.
“Oh?” I hear you say. “That’s awfully unfortunate. How did you manage to do that? “
Thank you for your sympathy dear reader, but I think you will find your sympathies will be misplaced once I tell you how it was, I came to be in this most ridiculous of predicaments.
I… picked my water bottle up off my desk.
That’s it. That’s …the. thing. That’s’ how it happened. I’m 41 years old and I tore the muscle in my right shoulder blade because I wanted a drink of water.
Not so sympathetic, now are you? …No, though not. Yeah, go on… laugh. Why not? I would … If it didn’t fucking hurt!
So, as a consequence of this action, I am now forced to take a day off work – which sadly will be unpaid. Not ideal of course, but I don’t have a choice in the matter as my SLE is 80 hours in the negative and there’s no allowance to make it a Rec day.
*Insert sarcastic woot*
Thus, here I am writing whatever thoughts come to my mind. Which are fast running out .. because I really don’t want to touch on the thing that I really want to write about until after the other thing happens. And besides, even if I DO write the thing about the thing – it’s entirely possible I’ll offended everyone (Without meaning too) and that’ll leave me having to explain myself eleventy -hundred times about the thing and I just don’t want to do that right now…
So, for now, the thing is going to have to wait.
In other news, I need a shower. I really do. Thing is, I got hubby to put a heat plaster on my back this morning before he left work and I can’t reach round right now to take it off. #ShortPeopleWithTornMuscleInTheirShoulderBladeProblems
But seriously, I stink. If I were a game of ping pong… Ping would quit because I pong so much (Thank you, I’m here all week!!) that and I really need to wash my hair.
Hubby will be knocking off work in 20 minutes. From there he’ll pop off to the shops to grab a few bits and pieces to go with tonight’s dinner of Koftas and Salad. Then, he will come home and do all the things that I cannot – because this one time, on the weekend .. I got thirsty and thought picking up my water bottle off my desk was a good idea!
I’ll have to sign off soon. I think I need to go to the bathroom ….
Hmmm, I better go… just in case …
If I get up now… my bladder would have had time to come to an executive decision on the matter by the time I get there.
Yeah, sounds like a plan,