The Struggle Is Real – But It’s Gonna Be OK

It’s interesting to note the change over the last few days.  I feel better. I feel lighter. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again

 

 

With the exception of last night ( I was woken in the wee hours of the morning after dreaming of communicating with dead – and no, it wasn’t nice – the sound of the rain on the roof, a snoring kitten in my ear and a rather desperate urge to pee) I have been sleeping better and not waking up more exhausted that I was the night before

 

My stress levels are all but non-existent. I haven’t felt this stress free in a long time. (Granted, I need to go back to work tomorrow but I’m not about that right now. That’s a job for tomorrow me and she can deal with that in the morning)

 

The pings and dings of social media alerts have been silenced… and my heart is better for it.

 

 

Things to note, however.

 

  • Since switching everything off at 9pm Friday November 1st AEST … I find that I am still reaching out for and checking my phone on impulse. I have to keep reminding myself that I have removed the temptation for a month and so it is not there. It’s rather an odd feeling if I’m honest.
  • My productivity levels have skyrocketed. In the last few days I have:

 

  • Cleared out a ton of old files on my computer
  • Purged old links and rearranged my bookmarks and pages accordingly
  • Gone to the local council and arranged to have my Disabled Parking permit renewed for another 3 years
  • Arranged an appointment with OPSM – A month in advance
  • Called my bank and discussed current and future financial situation

 

  • My to do list keeps getting longer … which is very, very good! Admittedly, finding things to add to this to do list is a challenge unto itself, but it’s one I plan to tackle head on.

 

  • I started writing this blog this morning but got distracted. Ok, Ok, I confess! I got distracted reading a book, talking to my friends on WhatsApp, eating lunch, showering, discussing dinner options with the Hubby, doing a 30 minute Cardio workout, washing two days’ worth of dishes, watching stuff on You Tube, updating my LinkedIn Profile and calling my Father to confirm that yet again, neither of us won anything on the Melbourne Cup – but I’m back now and I promise you I am not going anywhere until this is finished.

 

 

Right. So, two blogs in as many days, huh? What do I hope to gain by doing that? Nothing really.

 

It just gives me something to do and stops me from caving in and switching everything back on.

 

Not going to lie. Today has been a hard day. Despite how I’m feeling emotionally at the moment – the temptation to turn everything back on is real and I’m only five days in.

 

Coffee has been consumed. Lots of it. More than my standard amount. That and continental pasta pot noodle have become the things I have turned to, to help get me through the next phase of this detox – The Withdrawal.

 

As mentioned in my previous blog, there is a small part of me that feels very isolated and alone and right now it’s screaming.  Screaming to be the centre of attention.  Remember how I said I feel like I’ve lost a limb? Well, I’m going through the Phantom stage now. I know it’s gone – but it feels like it should still be there.

 

Tomorrow I’ll be fine. Tomorrow I’ll be at work, being bitched at, yelled at and complained to about all the first world problems in the world – so I won’t have the time to dwell on anything in particular and, for the first time in over five years, I’ll consider that a blessing rather than a burden.

 

I mean, I still have IG, Snapchat and one of my old side accounts on Twitter open and active but they’re accounts I hardly ever use and I’ve only got them open so I can keep an eye on the activity of a couple of celebs I follow on my other two accounts. Interestingly, now that my other socials are switched off It has become so much easier to keep up with current events and I have a better understanding of how things are stand on the world stage at the moment but more on that in the coming weeks.

 

I’ve decided I’m going to do things this month. Really knock a whole ton of stuff on its head.

 

Hoping to get it all done by November 28th … (That’s the date I have to reactivate my main twitter account before I lose everything in its entirety), but we’ll see.

 

Anyway, it’s getting close to that time of day and I must away and do the things

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ceej

 

 

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