The Struggle is Real

Tuesday, 9:30am

 

I’m sitting here trying desperately to find something to blog about.

 

It’s the worst feeling if I’m honest. Knowing I’ve promised myself to keep to a weekly posting schedule – despite having nothing happen over the course of that week – to give me anything to write about.

 

By my side sits my iPhone 11. The Red Dressed Lady. Well, she will be once the case I ordered six days ago from China ships out.

 

That said, given the nature of what’s happening over there – with the spread of the Coronavirus – I suspect that it’ll be shipped after the quarantine has lifted or, if not, I shall simply need to look at other alternatives because I’ll never see that phone case for as long as I live.

(Which is fine btw. Really don’t want a package full of virus thank you very much!)

 

So, my letters to people is going well. Another three shall be posted this weekend – bringing the total to eight so far. I’m communicating with one person via email – which I don’t mind doing. It’s a novelty and bit of fun

 

I’m hoping that by writing letters, it’ll help with my blogging situation.  I mean, as in, keeping regular practise.

 

So far, I’m struggling to piece anything of significance together and it does frustrate me.

 

I mean, there’s always Outlander fandom stuff. There is always stuff going on there – but let’s be honest – everyone else writes about fandom stuff and they write about it better than I ever could.

And besides, the only thing I want to say there is – WE’VE GOT 2.5 WEEKS LEFT TILL SEASON 5 … WHERE IS THE SEASONS PASS ITUNES?? GOD DAMN IT!!

 

*Ahem*

 

Where was I?

 

Oh. That’s right. Here. Right here. Blogging about nothing.

 

Goodo. Excellent.

 

At least I’ve written something today… and that’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

 

Ceej

 

 

 

 

 

The Struggle Is Real – But It’s Gonna Be OK

It’s interesting to note the change over the last few days.  I feel better. I feel lighter. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again

 

 

With the exception of last night ( I was woken in the wee hours of the morning after dreaming of communicating with dead – and no, it wasn’t nice – the sound of the rain on the roof, a snoring kitten in my ear and a rather desperate urge to pee) I have been sleeping better and not waking up more exhausted that I was the night before

 

My stress levels are all but non-existent. I haven’t felt this stress free in a long time. (Granted, I need to go back to work tomorrow but I’m not about that right now. That’s a job for tomorrow me and she can deal with that in the morning)

 

The pings and dings of social media alerts have been silenced… and my heart is better for it.

 

 

Things to note, however.

 

  • Since switching everything off at 9pm Friday November 1st AEST … I find that I am still reaching out for and checking my phone on impulse. I have to keep reminding myself that I have removed the temptation for a month and so it is not there. It’s rather an odd feeling if I’m honest.
  • My productivity levels have skyrocketed. In the last few days I have:

 

  • Cleared out a ton of old files on my computer
  • Purged old links and rearranged my bookmarks and pages accordingly
  • Gone to the local council and arranged to have my Disabled Parking permit renewed for another 3 years
  • Arranged an appointment with OPSM – A month in advance
  • Called my bank and discussed current and future financial situation

 

  • My to do list keeps getting longer … which is very, very good! Admittedly, finding things to add to this to do list is a challenge unto itself, but it’s one I plan to tackle head on.

 

  • I started writing this blog this morning but got distracted. Ok, Ok, I confess! I got distracted reading a book, talking to my friends on WhatsApp, eating lunch, showering, discussing dinner options with the Hubby, doing a 30 minute Cardio workout, washing two days’ worth of dishes, watching stuff on You Tube, updating my LinkedIn Profile and calling my Father to confirm that yet again, neither of us won anything on the Melbourne Cup – but I’m back now and I promise you I am not going anywhere until this is finished.

 

 

Right. So, two blogs in as many days, huh? What do I hope to gain by doing that? Nothing really.

 

It just gives me something to do and stops me from caving in and switching everything back on.

 

Not going to lie. Today has been a hard day. Despite how I’m feeling emotionally at the moment – the temptation to turn everything back on is real and I’m only five days in.

 

Coffee has been consumed. Lots of it. More than my standard amount. That and continental pasta pot noodle have become the things I have turned to, to help get me through the next phase of this detox – The Withdrawal.

 

As mentioned in my previous blog, there is a small part of me that feels very isolated and alone and right now it’s screaming.  Screaming to be the centre of attention.  Remember how I said I feel like I’ve lost a limb? Well, I’m going through the Phantom stage now. I know it’s gone – but it feels like it should still be there.

 

Tomorrow I’ll be fine. Tomorrow I’ll be at work, being bitched at, yelled at and complained to about all the first world problems in the world – so I won’t have the time to dwell on anything in particular and, for the first time in over five years, I’ll consider that a blessing rather than a burden.

 

I mean, I still have IG, Snapchat and one of my old side accounts on Twitter open and active but they’re accounts I hardly ever use and I’ve only got them open so I can keep an eye on the activity of a couple of celebs I follow on my other two accounts. Interestingly, now that my other socials are switched off It has become so much easier to keep up with current events and I have a better understanding of how things are stand on the world stage at the moment but more on that in the coming weeks.

 

I’ve decided I’m going to do things this month. Really knock a whole ton of stuff on its head.

 

Hoping to get it all done by November 28th … (That’s the date I have to reactivate my main twitter account before I lose everything in its entirety), but we’ll see.

 

Anyway, it’s getting close to that time of day and I must away and do the things

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ceej

 

 

It begins …

If you live anywhere other than Australia – this probably won’t matter to you.

 

Daylight savings is upon us here in the land of the Upside Down. It’s my favourite time of the year. It means the days are longer and, dare i say it, Christmas is just around the corner.

That said – it does make working life very difficult.

Not every state switches their clocks and so for the next 6 months we’re more or less confused with time differences

 

For example  – NSW, VIC, TAS, ACT and Norfolk Island observe DLS

QLD, WA, NT, Christmas Island and  Cocos Islands do not. ( Rumour has it Daylight Savings upsets the animals / causes curtains to fade in colour due to being hit with extra sunlight. There is however, no proof of this.)

This means that:

QLD is one hour behind

NT is an hour and a half behind

WA and the Islands are three hours behind.

Ergo – we spend 6 months utterly lost with time differences and by the time we’ve all figured it out – Daylight Savings is over and we’re back to square one.

 

Those that don’t observe loathe those that do – claiming a working relationship is difficult to maintain because of opening and closing hours being all up in the air. But hey, that’s not our problem. If they just joined in with the rest of us and observed accordingly – they wouldn’t have this problem.

 

*Laughs* ..Oh well.

 

In other news, my life as a Science Experiment continues and *hopefully* there will be a decent chiropractor thrown into the mix. This one is local and has done wonders for my Aunt who has suffered Sciatica for years. Apparently, after a few visits this one was able to *un-pinch* her … So I’m hoping they’ll be able to do the same with me. I’ve thrown a lot at this condition of mine over the years and this is just another option to consider.

More to come on that as it unfolds.

 

Thanks for reading,

CJ

………..Huh…..

‘On the third stroke It will be …. The 16th September …. ‘

 

 

Fuck.

 

So much for keeping to a blogging schedule.

 

It appears my latest attempt at keeping this blog alive failed miserably – even if it was in jest- taking a look at the OL fandom on the various social media platforms and pointing out the hilarious faults and failings of each one.

 

I made it as far as having to face Tumblr. Then I stopped. Then the fandom went to hell in a handbasket, people picked up their toys, made a huge noise about leaving and never wanting to return and stomped off in a huff – leaving the rest of us to pick up the pieces and sort everything out.

 

At time of writing, we’re still not OK. Don’t think we ever will be if I’m perfectly honest .. but we’re not entirely dead and we’ve still got some fight in us. At least, I think so. That said, this blog will no longer be a place to discuss fandom politics or goings on. My focus has shifted, and this blog will be more about me.

 

Selfish right? Probably.

 

But then, why not? I have a lot to say. There was a time when I thought that talking about myself and my life was boring – so, I stopped blogging.

 

Everyone has to start somewhere … and I’m … starting again from scratch.  I don’t know how successful I’ll be … and I can’t guarantee I’ll be on a posting schedule … I’ll try though. That’s’ all I can do.

The Tale Of The Catch Up, The Carry On, The Nerdy Celebrations And The Tiring Twitter Stramach …

I am officially “Holy crap! I had no idea my blog had a Spam Filter and look at all these lovely comments!” years old.

 

So, to those who have commented on my blog – thank you! It means a lot. I’m glad you enjoy reading it over all and I do appreciate your feedback and constructive criticism on my writing. I also appreciate that, with some things I write about – I may not have all the facts on hand ( at least according to you) but please understand, I am only writing what I am based on what I have on hand at the time. I hope you can respect that 😀

 

My layout is not done by a professional. Not at all. Word Press has dozens of free web layouts and designs and I just picked one that I liked. Also, it has an edit function- which allows you to change a section to suit what you need in a blog. It’s really simple and really easy to use – which is why I continue to stay with it.

 

OK, now that I’ve taken care of that, here is a long overdue update for you. Look, I know I said I’d try and stick to an uploading schedule and I know I said what time and day and so and so fifth and so seventh – but I have an excuse OK? I was sick. Very, very sick.

 

Not long after I’d written my Holiday wrap up post – which if you haven’t read you can read here: https://ranpotjam.com/2019/05/21/holidays-part-two-and-wrap-up/ I’d began to feel rather run down. Still, I pushed through returned to work the Monday after that blog was written. I lasted all of three days.

By Thursday of that week I went down like a sack of spuds and more or less felt the beginnings of old mate Laryngitis. I knew just by the tingle in the throat and persistent cough that I’d been trying to avoid all day.

By Friday my throat was on fire and I felt like I was swallowing razor blades.  That morning I called the Doctors. Sadly, I wasn’t able to get in till 9am the following Monday – so I had to just suck it up and bear it.

 

Of course, I wasn’t really bothered as I figured it’d do what it normally did. Hang around for a few days and then leave. I was convinced, come Monday, going to the Dr was a par for the course and just doing the right thing for work. Alas, dear reader, that was not the case. Not this time. This time it did more than just hang around. This time it smacked me upside my head and metaphorically KO’d me several times over. All I did was sleep. I hardly ate. All I could do was drink water and OJ and zonk straight back out again.  I ran a fever for 2 and a half days and was freezing whilst sweating buckets.  I lost 3.5 kgs (7.7LBS) during the week I was sick, due to not being able to eat and even though you may cheer for this, I can assure you, it’s not the nicest way in the world to lose weight.

 

On Monday morning at 9am sharp I sat shivering in the Dr’s office waiting to be seen.  Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long. It was a Dr I’d never seen before so naturally it was the same stock standard line of questioning that occurs whenever you see a new GP. “Have you had this before?  Do you suffer Asthma?” “Have you ever used a Spacer?” “Are you allergic to penicillin?”

After taking all of 30 seconds answering his questions with a polite No… He then proceeded to spend the remainder of my consultation telling me about his ailments and what caused him to be sick for the better part of a month!

Bravo …Dr Quack. Bravo.

 

I am given a rather strong antibiotic and a week off work to rest. Excellent.

 

I take the rest of the week off to recover. By Friday of that week I am well enough to return to work and things begin to go back to normal. (At time of writing, I am on a repeated course of antibiotics. Better to be safe than sorry)

 

Naturally there is the usual #BackToWork stuff associated with this – which I won’t bore you with here. It’s another blog for another day, trust me.

 

My week is nothing out of the ordinary. My working week is normal, my PT session goes really well, as does my session with my Osteopath. She cracks my neck in this session. It’s the first time I’ve experiences that. I’ve got to say, it’s an interesting experience and one that I’m willing to let her do again. My MPC Hoodie arrives in the post and I realise I’ve ordered the wrong size by accident. Hubby and I ship a huge box of MLP toys and collectables to a friend for her Daughter, I order some handmade Jamie and Claire dolls through a friend on twitter to help her online store out and some wonderful, beautiful, blessed soul sends me the OL Season 4 collectors edition from the US for no other reason than because.  Then there’s the OL FYC panel that was streamed from LA -which was just amazing and Cait Balfe single handedly starting a body positive movement on twitter #NotAllStomachsAreWashboards – which I am still loving as all of my twitter fam got featured in several write ups about it 😀

 

So, I lied. My week outside of work was amazing and it warms my heart just thinking about it 😀 And if you’re wondering about my Hoodie… Dinna fash yesel’- it too has found a new home and I will simply order a larger size due to boobs.

 

On the subject of the OL Fandom … there’s the matter of trolling I wish to address. (again)

 

One cannot argue that over all, social media gives people a voice. It allows all of us to communicate our thoughts and feelings on all kinds of things. We can make friends, we can laugh, we can cry, we can share ideas and common interests, we can become more aware of the world in which we live, hell, we can even raise millions of dollars for charity if we want. It’s a platform for good, for the most part and I, for one, stand by it for that reason.

 

In regard to the OL fandom, a large majority of us are very supportive of the cast and crew, we are polite and respectful to the actors, we are kind, supportive and mindful of each other- regardless of which side of the Fandom Fence you’re on.

 

But, every now and then someone enters the fandom with the sole purpose of upsetting the applecart.

 

Prior to this happening, the fandom was in its element. Both Sam and Caitriona were tweeting -despite being up to their necks in a week’s worth of night shoots. Sam especially. He’d been quiet on the tweet machine for so long, we were beginning to think he’d forgotten us. So, to have him ‘be tweeting on the regs’ was a blessing, if I’m perfectly honest.

As I mentioned earlier, Cait had started a body positive movement in a single tweet and Sam… well, he was tweeting whatever he damn well pleased. MPC, NASA, OL related stuff, Birthday shout-outs and the like. Of course, being the environmentally conscious and politically woke fellow that he is, naturally some of his tweets turned to those subjects.

 

This was when the trolls came out. My god, it was a right stramash it was. Starting with #WeirdoJoe and his aversion to plastic bags and being proud climate change denier to finishing with #TheJillAndBrandi Show and their ignorant, disrespectful and vile tweets about everyone and everything that didn’t involve getting down on one’s knees and sucking Orange Oom-pah Loompa dick. As you can imagine, Sam went in (gracefully and with respect) in the hope to make them see the error in their ways and make them see sense. It didn’t work. In fact, it escalated to such an extent that Sam more or less *Peaced Out* and quit twitter till further notice. (They also attacked Cait’s tweet – which is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life)

 

The thing is, these people are not even fans. They’re just doing it for the hell of it. Because they like to cause trouble. Because it satisfies their narcissism and gives them the attention they so desperately crave. We shouldn’t engage them, and neither should the OL cast and crew. It’s a pointless exercise. It’s like yelling into the void or headbutting a lamp post. No matter how many times you try – the result is always going be the same. You’re going to end up frustrated, hurt and angry and left wondering why you even bothered in the first place.

 

*Sigh*

 

In closing, I’d like to end this blog with a little piece of something wonderful. For those who are not aware – this weekend is The Queens Birthday long weekend. It means, in honour of Her Majesty the Queen, we get an extra day to sleep in and a shorter working week.

This weekend however, Hubby and I were lucky enough to attend the wedding of our friends Jeremy and Prue.

Jeremy is an old high school buddy and has more or less been one of my best mates for close to 25 years.

 

He met Prue in 2014 and romance blossomed. I knew she was going to be something special when, upon meeting each other- we were both wearing our Dr Who hoodies – and that was pretty much the moment I knew I liked her.

Long story short- they are the cutest nerds anyone’s ever seen, and their wedding was proof of that.

The Bridal Party came complete  with Light Sabres, the wedding vows were a combination of various Sci-Fi references, they left the chapel while the theme to Indiana Jones played in the background and, when it came time for the reception – they entered the venue while the theme to Serenity played on the PA.

Everyone was given a R2D2 USB drive as a thank you for attending and the tables were decorated with little Ewoks. Their cake (despite being fake) was decorated with a Tardis and two Jedi.

It was a truly wonderful wedding. The venue was beautiful, the food was really nice, and the staff were exceptional par none and the night ran like clockwork.

Bride and Groom were blissfully happy (And, should you read this, I did so not tear up and cry during your dance … nuh uh… not me. Nope.) and I swear, it was one of the most wonderful weddings I’ve ever been invited to and one I will not forget for a long time.

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ceej.

 

 

Holidays ( Part Two) And Wrap Up

For starters this blog is late. Normally I would apologise profusely for that but in this case, I make no exceptions.

 

As you know my goal with this is to post a blog every Sunday and have it up and available to read by no later than 4pm AEST.

 

This time I have an excuse. That excuse has a name. And it’s called NO SLEEP!

 

Before I get into that, however, lets recap

 

Oh Yes! I almost forgot! It was week two of my holidays!

 

Right. So, where was I?

 

At the end of the first week, the Friday, my bestie Heather flew back to Brisbane. Her flight was at 9am so we needed to be there early.

 

We woke at 4:20am and proceeded with operation “We’re going to the Airport in the dark and the rain – Lordy this is fun” and truth be told we made excellent time.

Arriving a little after 7am we adulted accordingly and agreed that we required sustenance of some sort. Consequently, we found ourselves heading in the direction of the nearest McDonalds and I started a rather moreish affair with ye olde breakfast burger – that more or less cemented the fact that I have a weakness for such things and I really need to seek professional help.

(At time of writing I have yet to come across Breakfast Burgers anonymous .. If anyone knows where one might find such a thing, let me know)

 

After breakfast and coffee were consumed, it was time to see my Bestie off on her flight home and bid her safe journey and farewell.

Looking for her departure gate took longer than expected as we took a wrong turn and more or less ended up doing a lap of the Airport.  (This did have its advantages in that we were able to walk off breakfast.)  Nevertheless, her gate was found, and she departed on time with no delays.

 

The weekend that followed saw Hubby and I do a grand total of nothing – and it was pure bliss.

 

Our second week began with the decluttering of my office so as to give me more room. I am wanting to create a little workout area for myself (I already have resistance bands, a yoga mat, a fit ball and weights – but I want to make room for a recumbent rower bike that I am saving up to buy.)   This, in itself, took two days and it’s still not quite finished. That said, there is more room to move than there was and for now, I’m happy with that. The rest of the week was more or less spent catching up with cleaning house and running errands and such. So that was nice.

I managed to get a haircut and my Jewellery cleaned- which was something I really wanted to get done over my holidays and I did. ( I also managed to get swollen Lymph nodes during this week but antibiotics took care of that)

 

The final day of my break – and this, dear reader, ties into the NO SLEEP I mentioned at the beginning of this blog – found hubby and I awake at the ungodly hour of 3am and unable to get back to sleep. We tried, oh how we tried, but after a couple of unsuccessful hours we gave up and got out of bed at just after 5am.

 

Three coffees later I decided to try my luck at seeing if I could nap. (Yes, I was THAT tired) and only managed a lie in for about an hour.

 

It was also planned that we would go and have lunch with a mutual friend and her Mother at Dandenong Market.

 

That in itself was an interesting experience as neither Hubby nor I had been there for over 20 years and we were both surprised as to how much it had changed in that time.

 

We met with our friends and had a lovely (if unconventional and noisy) lunch and chatted with them for a little over two hours.

 

Upon our arrival home (about 3pm) I crashed out about half hour later and slept through till about 5pm

 

I ate, watched some TV and crashed out again just before 10pm and with that my Holiday’s ended.

 

I’m not gonna lie, it was a great two weeks with lots of fun and laughter and lots of QT time spent with those I truly care about.

 

The best two weeks I think I’ve ever had

 

Ceej

 

I’m On Holidays. Week One

I want to begin this blog by stating that, for the first time in my life, I am attempting to stick to a posting schedule – meaning that by the time this blog is written, it’ll be ready to drop at 4pm AEST.. which is something that, for the moment shocks me. **

 

Me? Adulting and sticking to a thing? Who am I? What have I become?

Currently, I am on Rec leave from work. I had put in for two weeks (after much crying and stomping and gnashing of teeth) because I wanted time to celebrate my Birthday. I’ve just turned 42 and Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy jokes aside, I simply wanted to take some time away from work and relax.

Week one has already come and gone. At time of writing, it’s 9:28am on Sunday morning. The weather is drizzly and overcast and there’s a definite chill in the air. A pair of Rosella’s went to town on the backyard, feasting whatever wee beasties crawled out of the earth due to the rain …so that was nice to know. It’s nice to know the concreate and clay swamp we live on is useful for something. Even if it is to feed the birds.

Right. Now to the good bit. Week one of my holidays. Here we go!

It began with picking my Bestie from Brisbane, up at the Airport last Saturday afternoon.  There were complications her end which meant that we didn’t have to rush and after all was said and done, we made good time to get there and she landed (albeit bumpy) safe and sound.

 

That night we ordered take out and proceeded to get right and royally *Sophisticated* and then went to bed

The next few days were spent catching up on all things Marvel. She had, at my request, bought down at least 6 of the movies with her – in order to catch me up before going to see ENDGAME. I’m so glad I did because I tell you what, ENDGAME is something else entirely and it blew my fucking mind. I DID NOT SEE WHAT CAME COMING AND I AM STILL NOT ENTIRELY OK!!  (Mind you, I’d only just watched INFINITY WAR the night before and I was still not OK from that either!) Thankfully, there was only ourselves and some other random guy in the cinema on the day we saw it – My Birthday – so that was all good. There was a bit of ugly crying, that much was for sure .. but at least there was no crowds so there was that.

The night of my Birthday I requested KFC be ordered and Single Malt Whisky be consumed in celebration of my 42nd rotation around the sun. There were Birthday messages aplenty and rest assured, dear reader, I felt well and truly loved.

The following day, my Father took my bestie, hubby and I out for a counter lunch at the Bayswater Hotel. Normally, it would be a trip to McDonalds for a coffee and a cheese toasty – but this year (after I’d bragged to all and sundry that, that was what was going to happen) he made a liar of me and took me up market instead. Not that I can complain. The meal was lovely, and I was in grand company and that more than made up for it.

On Friday morning we were up at ridiculous O’clock to take my bestie back to the airport in order for her to catch her return flight back to Brisbane. Her flight was at 9am so we needed to be there early.

Thankfully the drive in was reasonable and we made good time- getting in at just after 7am – which gave her plenty of time to check her bags in and for us to grab a wee spot of breakfast before we parted company.

It was there, at the McDonalds I discovered the deliciousness of the Breakfast Burger. I confess, if I am not careful, this could very well be my undoing. It’s similar to the Hungry Jacks “Big Breaky Wrap” except it’s a burger .. instead of a wrap. And I believe I may be addicted to it – which after eating just one – says a lot about the type of person I actually am.

At 8:30am – her flight call time- we said our goodbyes (after getting lost and doing a lap of the Virgin Terminal trying to find her gate. I consider this a win as it meant we more or less walked off breakfast and I learned a valuable lesson in what to wear to the airport should I ever decide to travel anywhere in the foreseeable future. Jeans, as it turns out, will get you frisked by security after the button and zipper sets off the alarms – So, leggings or sweat pants are the preferred choice moving forward)

Upon returning home – it was pretty much a nothing day. We were completely exhausted and thus a nap was taken by yours truly not long after walking through the door. I did, however, rearrange my apt with my Osteopath and make a Dr’s apt for next week – so there was that.

I did try and stay up to start watching Se 4 of Lucifer Friday night, but I promptly fell asleep on the couch at 9pm after watching the first episode.

Yesterday was spent largely unmotivated and both of us were glad of it. There were discussions of cleaning out and decluttering my office space – which in itself is not only a mammoth task … but also, next level adulting. Which has me both excited and terrified AF.***

Last night we continued to watch Lucifer and got as far as the end of episode 5. I’m really enjoying it. I know there’s only 10 episodes this season but ‘by his Dad’ I want to find out what happens. None of this dragging it out and making it last rubbish for me!

I would also like to take this opportunity to announce, whilst on the subject of Lucifer, I now consider myself to be a fully converted “Luci-fan!”  I’ve watched all seasons so far and I think it’s a fantastic show. That and Tom Ellis is rather easy on the eye and ridiculously adorable.

 

With still one more week to go, I’m really enjoying my time off. It’s been a load of laughs and fun so far and I kind of don’t want it to end.

 

We’ll see what next week brings eh?

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ceej.

 

** I lied. I’m posting now because reasons and I don’t think WP has a queuing function. Damn.

 

*** This is an in-joke. I’m not really terrified of adulting. You just to be there I suppose 😛

 

 

Sunday

I’m not well.

 

Not well at all. 😦

 

This is just a quick post to advise that the official 4pm blog post starts at the end of this week once I am on holidays from work

 

Cheers,

 

Ceej