Self-Preservation Isolation Blog 5 – The New Normal

It’s been a couple of weeks. Sorry about that. Life kind of got in the way in the form of the Outlander finale, high blood pressure, the commencement of working from home and the aggravation of an old injury in my right knee.

So, as you can see, it’s been a lot.

So, where are things now?

For me, I have officially started working from home. After effectively 8 weeks of Long Service Leave – I returned to work in the office for 1 day (May 14th) to collect my trusty laptop, get it set up and prepped to work from home for at least the next two weeks.  (I’m hoping it’s going to continue longer than that, but we’ll see) I have to say, having only done it for two days so far – I’m thoroughly enjoying it. In the 10 years I’ve been at my job, this is the happiest I have felt in a long time.


  • I don’t have to worry about public transport (money saver. Win)
  • I don’t have to worry about other people and trying to circumnavigate my way through the Melbourne CBD
  • I don’t have to worry about the lifts (I hate lifts. They’re more terrifying to me than spiders)
  • It means I can pick up more hours. Currently I can only work 3 days a week due to physical difficulties. WFH means I don’t have the extra pressure of travelling and can take on an extra day. This is also good from a $$ as it means more money in my pay packet
  • WFH means my life can become more structured and I can actually have a routine
  • I can actually work any shift I am given. I won’t need to change anything
  • I don’t have to worry about potentially injuring myself at work – should my legs give out and I fall over. At least at home, if this happens, I am in a safe space and I can still do my job
  • The excess noise. Working from home is bliss as I don’t have to deal with the excess noise of my co-workers dealing with customers, the onsite radio station, the testing of the fire alarm and the never-ending noise from the construction site one block away from my workplace. To be able to hear the customer without having to struggle (I need to add I have severe tinnitus in my right ear) is amazing and it’s such a relief.
  • I actually have to wear a bra and look halfway decent. This is due to the fact that my Manager will need to do the occasional video call and I have to look at least partly Human for the interaction


On a personal note, it means less stress and worry for my Husband. At least, if I’m working from home, he knows where I am and that I’m going to be OK. (Plus, added bonus… every so often I may get a cup of emotional support soup. Which is always nice)


The nightmares have stopped. Which is a relief. During my 8 weeks away (In self-preservation Isolation) I suffered terrible nightmares which often left me feeling utterly miserable, and, on one particular occasion, waking up in the middle of the night in tears. They varied from being stuck in an elevator between Heaven and Hell while being surrounded by Avenger zombies to being lost in giant dental surgeries from the 1960’s to being told I needed to help Covid-19 patients be transported from one place to another while not able to find any PPE to protect me.

I know I had others but (thankfully) I can’t remember them all.

There’s also the issue of Iso-weight. Not gonna lie. I reckon I’ve gained close to 10 kgs (or 22LBs) in the last 8 weeks. I swear, if you were to cut me open you would discover my insides would be made up of Humus and crackers, blocks of Cadbury’s marble chocolate, noodles and tuna, bags of crisps and litres and litres of white wine.

Now, while yes, there have been regular meals with salad thrown in and not a single ounce of take away consumed in that time – it doesn’t change the fact that I have gained weight. Comfort eating is a curse and when your routine is thrown into disarray by a global pandemic that forces your hand to stay home – you tend to forget what your routine is after a while. One day just kind of blurs into another and your entire wardrobe consists of daytime and night-time pyjamas.

The idea of wearing a Bra (as mentioned above) is quite the novel concept at the moment. It turns out I can’t quite use my boobs as a hair tie (that’s how long I’ve gone without a bra folks) but it was getting pretty damn close! WFH came about just in time!

Finally, the only other thing I have to discuss is what’s been happening in the Outlander fandom since the finale… And the truth is…. not much.

Granted, we wailed and cried and cheered and marvelled at the brilliant, award winning performances given by Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe when the finale aired – and we were still dying over it a week later … But outside of that… There’s been not a lot going on. Oh, there’s been the Fandom Police trying to start drama for the sake of it of course, but honestly? I think everyone is just over the drama in this fandom. It’s exhausting and let’s be honest… There’s more important shit happening in the world than a thirst post. So, I’m glad folks are just letting things be.


So, I guess that means this is the new normal huh? Don’t sweat the little things and be prepared for the big things and don’t panic about the rest.


It’s kind of nice.


I like it





The Time There Were Five ‘First World Problems’

*Warning* If you don’t like ‘First World Problem’ rants in blogs… You should probably stop reading now.


Deep Breath… And go.


I’ve been putting off writing this blog for almost a week.


For the record, I generally try not to write blogs like this. I never really like discussing the goings on in my life – Unless there’s a way of being able to take the piss out of it and make it funny.


Once, I seriously thought about heading in that direction though. A more serious look at the world in which I live. I thought maybe that could be the ‘theme’ for my blog and ultimately? After a few feeble attempts, it became apparent that I wasn’t cut out for that and it stopped me writing my blog for months.


This year however, I planned to stick to a writing schedule and blog at least once a week. So far, so good.

Thankfully, Outlander Se 5 is in full swing so there’s been plenty to write about. Don’t worry, I will be doing a 502 recap. Just as soon as I get all this niggly shit off my chest.


As I said, if first world whining is not for you-leave now. Don’t hang around till the end. I won’t be offended.


  • People in general.


Is it just me or is every single person trying their upmost to be an asshole this week?  I swear, there must be something in the water supply because everyone appears to have great difficulty walking due the massive stick shoved up their ass!


Working in Customer Service, you learn fairly quickly how to ‘read the room’ and this week’s room is full of folks whose sole purpose for existing to make everyone else’s lives as difficult as possible.





Speaking of ‘reading the room’ – this brings me to my next point


  • Certain People of Influence failing to get a clue on how to read a {twitter} room


*Sigh* (And yes, I sighed in BOLD font because that’s how over this shit I am)


Look, I love Twitter. I do. But honestly? ……


There’s got to be a way of being able to educate people on how and when to respond to certain Twitter replies.


I have rolled my eyes that many times, I can honestly say I have done it for time, for Cals, EMOM’s and half a dozen reps on each eye!


How many times must we, the decent folk of the Outlander fandom sit and cringe at the sort of folk that are getting their @’s answered?


Please stop answering things like that. The tweets of the desperate. The trolls. The ones who fail to appreciate your viewpoint and tell you not to give up your day job. I, for one, cannot see what anyone hopes gain from this…. Other than making sure said people of influence being told to steer clear of the platform all together.


  • The constant misspelling/ mispronunciation of OL character names!




  1. First off STOP IT!!


  • Its JAMIE FRASER!!! It’s not Frazer.  Nor is it Frasier. Stop spelling it that way! (Also, stop pronouncing it that way as well! Do your research before discussing characters please!)
  • CLAIRE There is nobody named Clair in these books OK. No, I don’t CARE if that’s a different variation on a theme – CLAIRE! HER NAME IS CLAIRE!
  • The correct way to spell his name (as per all 8 books to date) is ROGER. It has always been ROGER. DG wrote it that way! Where on Earth did Rodger come from? No. Just no.


There are others. But I’d be here all day if I pointed out every single one of them. I know. I know. You can come at me and argue about the different variations of the spelling of names and that, in some cases, English Is a second or third language – but the books have been around since 1991 and to see the character names butchered like that … makes my blood boil!  Spell the character names as they are from the books. That’s all I ask!



  • Frustrations of a personal nature


Do you remember how I said I generally don’t like talking about this? Well, I still don’t. But here we are.


Currently, as I write this, my right knee is giving me grief. I’ve had two rather bad falls in as many weeks and as a result, its angry.


I’m meant to be almost completely ready for a week-long trip to Brisbane in March. By now, I should be at least 10kgs lighter than I was at the beginning of the year. By now I should be pretty much be able to dance around the airport unaided. (figuratively speaking) and it appears my body has other ideas.


I’ve been stressing a lot this last month. Not going to lie. There are a few … family matters that have been playing on my mind.

Realistically, they’re happy moments for those involved (I hope) but my wondering where I fit into these situations has me … just kind of floundering.

I’m sure the feeling will pass, and a resolution found, and I can move on eventually, but for the moment … I’m feeling very much on the outer and its rubbing me the wrong way.


The consequences of my emotional state has led to a bout of (rather inconvenient) comfort eating – in the form of Yumi Hummus and crackers. A lot of Hummus and crackers. Suffice to say, I’ve stacked on the weight. Not to mention wine. I’ve also drank a fair amount of wine this month and it has not done anything for the waistline. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still been doing my weekly PT sessions and using the rower bike – but it’s just not enough to keep the weight off.


Add to that – I’m also back on the contraceptive pill to try and regulate my cycle. That has also contributed to the weight gain. (That’s all I’m going to say about that)


There’s also the fact I hate my body. I hate the fact that its broken and it’s so hard to fix. I hate the fact that at almost 43 years old – I still need help with doing so many mundane and ordinary things.

As I said, I’m flying to Brisbane in a little over a week and I’m terrified something is going to go wrong. I mean, my bestie is as fit as fuck and could probably carry me over her shoulder if needed … but still. I mean, I have a week to get things to settle and all will be well… doesn’t mean it doesn’t play on the back of my mind.



  • Will I? Won’t I? – Can I? Can’t I?


The question that causes me internal conflict. Basically, this is to do with my working situation


In short:

  1. I can stay at 3 days per week or
  2. I can take up another day and work 4 days a week


If I take A)

  • Things will remain as they are
  • It will take longer to pay off my work debt
  • It will mean I can look at potentially other avenues of income from home to make up the slack


If I take B)

  • An extra $200 in my pay per fortnight.
  • Extra $$ is good and will ease the grind on the hip pocket
  • Pay debts off a little quicker.


But the question is … Can I do it? Can my body, with thigs like they are, take on an extra workday. Currently, I’d say no. But… then again… compared to where I was a year ago… hell, even 6 months ago… I could still try for 4 days a week.


So, you see? The battle rages on and neither side has come up with a final solution.


That’s where I am right now.


Told you it was very first world.


Getting it off my chest and out there – hopefully will help.


In the meantime, I ‘m going to rest up my knee and hope for the best


Thanks for reading,








*WORLDWIDE GIVEAWAY* Win A Signed Copy of “The Fiery Cross”, A Signed Copy of “The Making Of Outlander : The Complete Guide To Season Three and Four”, Outlander Magnetic Bookmarks, Outlander Soundtrack Season 4, Outlander Pendant By Nina Wozniak, Outlander 2020 Engagement Calender

Just coz a girls gotta – you know! Enter if you haven’t! I have!

Outlander Online

To celebrate the upcoming Season 5 of Outlander, which premiere Feb.16th, and to say thank you for the kindness and generosity that you all have shown myself and Marie these past 6 months, we are having a GIANT giveaway full of Outlander goodies!! Special shoutout to Nina Wozniak for graciously donating one of her many beautiful pieces. To visit her site click here

In this giveaway we have

  1. A Signed Copy of The Fiery Cross By Diana Gabaldon
  2. A Signed Copy of The Making of Outlander – The Official Guide To Seasons Three and Four By Tara Bennett
  3. Outlander 2020 Engagement Calendar
  4. Outlander Season 4 Soundtrack
  5. Outlander Bee and Standing Stone Pendent from Nina Wozniak
  6. Outlander Themed Magnetic Bookmarks

Here’s how to enter:

  1. Follow our site on twitter
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This contest is international!

You have until Feb…

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And So It Came To Pass

That I looked at the time and said  “Shit me! I better get my ass into gear and write a blog!”


So, here I am …. Trying. Honestly.


At the moment I am writing letters to people. It’s been a lot of fun. I’m enjoying it and finding it easier to write with each letter. So hopefully, that’ll help with this.


There’s not really much to cover this week. So, I’ll give you a run down in a series of dot points


  • Sam and Caitriona have killed us all 84,000 times over.
  • I’ve discovered I’m not muted and the Universe is my friend
  • I’ve worked lates this last week and its been the worst ever. I got told to either Fuck Off, Fuck You or Go Fuck Yourself so many times .. I am starting to wonder if i am a truly horrible person
  • Toothpaste is not my friend. ( Long story. Next weeks blog for sure)
  • More Dr’s apts
  • Fluid Retention tablets are a thing now. Woo. ( Again, another blog for next week)
  • I’ve lost 4.1kgs since Jan 01.


And that’s about it


This blog isn’t really anything. It’s simply to keep me to a posting schedule and accountable


Thanks for reading anyway,



2020 … It begins

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2020 and the start of a new decade!

Let’s see if I can maintain a Blogging schedule this time, shall we?

Firstly, I hope you like the new look. It’s the best I could do since both Canva and Pic Monkey are no longer free to use and have decided that 30 day ‘Free Trails’ are better than happy customers.

2019 left us with a bitter taste in our mouths didn’t it? It wasn’t great. Not by a long shot. The political upheaval, the celebrity bullshit, the fact Australia was on fire and our “Great Bloke” of a PM went on holiday to Hawaii.

At time of writing, a large majority of the country is still ablaze. We can now add torrential rain and possible cyclone into the mix.

Climate change? What was that again?


Anyway, enough on that. I’m already in a mood and that will only make it worse

Focusing more on the personal front, this year I plan to “SELF CARE” more. If that make sense. I plan to stay away from as much stress and drama as possible (Though, that could be too little too late on that score already – and we’re only 11 days into the New Year.)

Things I plan to do:

  • Eat Healthy.

So, last year I gained all 15kgs back that I lost the year before. This was mainly due to my addiction to (blocks) of chocolate and, towards the end of the year, Doritos. Add to that my constant Hungry Jacks breakfast wraps with extra hash browns on the side and my (rather large) Whisky consumption. (And I cannot accept it’s good for you. I can’t! Or I’ll never be able to function again -ever! LOL) So, this year it’s all about moderation, cutting back a lot of crap food and eating smaller portions. Water is now my jam and I have so many bottles of it in my fridge – it takes up an entire shelf!

  • Exercise

The thing is with exercise, we’ve never truly been friends. Even after buying a recumbent rower bike back in August last year. I still found myself making excuses not to use it (I’m too tired, I’m working the late shift and don’t have time, I’m on AF and don’t feel like it) and this year I’ve decided I’m going to commit to using it more. I want to lose the 15kgs I put back on (I’m back to my original pre MPC weight of 96.6Kgs – UGH) and then some. Mind you, I don’t plan to deprive myself of everything – I just need to stick to a healthy eating schedule and allow a cheat day every now and then just to balance things out.

  • Write More

In an effort to get my lazy ass off the ground writing, I’ve committed to the following:

  • Writing letters to Pen Pals
  • Doing a complete rewrite of Project Sapphire Eyes (more on that later)
  • Stick to a weekly blogging schedule.

These 3 things I hope, will get me into a rhythm moving forward. I’m tired of being scared of what people *may* think of my work- so I’m just going to get on with it and hope for the best.

  • Self-Care

As I mentioned, this year will be about self- care. Aside from the things in this list, I plan to destress a lot more and not get so involved in drama.

In particular, Online drama.  I’ve only come to this decision recently and I think it’s for the best. I’ve found myself becoming too emotionally invested in things online (especially in the Outlander fandom) and I’ve found myself getting hurt, angry and upset at things I have no control over. I’m so done with things making me angry and upset. That’s not who I am, and the negativity wears me down.


I plan to read a lot more as well. When I took a social media break in November last year, I rediscovered the joy of sitting quietly and reading. It was nice. I may even take another month away from socials as part of that – but we’ll see.

Anyway, that’s the first blog down for the year.  Hope you like it.

Thanks for reading,





2019 … A ( Short) Wrap Up Post

2019 …. Wrap Up Post


This is probably going to be the shortest wrap up post I’ve ever written but here it goes …


2019 was probably one of the worst years on record.

There was so much bullshit, un-necessary drama, childish behaviour and exhaustive goings on that, I for one, will be glad to see the back of it.

Actually, I can’t even be bothered writing a long-winded essay about 2019 … So, here it is in dot points


  • Politics was exhausting
  • Climate Change is really a thing… And it was ignored …again
  • Everything is NOT awesome
  • Movies and Music this year was meh for the most part this year


On a personal note:


  • I got sick at lot this year – Boo
  • My workplace became a communist state (long story)
  • I took down an internet troll
  • I saw a side to the internet I didn’t like, and it’s changed my opinion forever
  • I finally found a specialist who CAN help me with my medical conditions and HAS helped me! Moving forward, I am down 1 less medication and 2 specialists #Winning
  • I tried (And failed) to keep to a regular blog posting schedule – but what else is new
  • I signed up for MPC 2020


There was some other stuff but It’s currently 5:08am and I don’t even know why I’m awake.


Anyway, that’s it for my 2019 wrap up post.


If it could just do as all a favour and end … that’d be great.



The Hiatus continues

Saturday, 6:05pm AEST


As I write this, it’s still daylight outside and the birds can be heard telling the world it’s time to settle in for the night.

Dinner is on. Tonight’s meal is Roast Lamb with all the trimmings.

Hubby is practising guitar. He had a successful lesson this afternoon and really doesn’t want to lose the momentum, so he’s thrown himself into getting some practise in before dinner is ready.

This is good.


He’s plugged the headphones in, so he doesn’t annoy the neighbours. He’s also reminded me of the sound quality of said headphones. Not only did I jump 3 feet into the fucking air – I am now also convinced that sleep will elude me for the next 184 years.


As for me, It’s the end of week two of my Social Media hiatus and I have to tell you, it’s been interesting.


For one thing, I’ve continued with the productivity. This week was all about teaching myself new things.


Over the course of this week I’ve downloaded free trials of Scrivener and Spotify (Yes, I know. I am VERY late to the Spotify party and I am well aware I have a lot of catching up to do) as well as learning how to use Canva properly – should I ever wish to start making You Tube videos again.  There have been a lot of tutorials watched over this week and (not so) surprisingly, I’ve subscribed to a few new channels about writing which I hope will inspire me to get off my ass and get stuck in to making this Blog something more than a hobby.


On the medical front, things are moving along as expected. This week saw me visit a local Chiropractor (on the recommendation of my Aunt) who was very interested in my condition and very keen to help. On her advice, I went and got X-rays done on my Spine and Pelvis which thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for.  I’m hopeful they find something to work on. That’d be nice. I go and see them again on the 19th.  So, will be keeping you posted on that.


I’d asked my Dad to take me as Hubby couldn’t get the morning off work. He agreed and after my appointment we went to lunch at McDonalds. He let me have fries with my Ham/ Cheese/ Tomato toasty.  I suppose I shouldn’t brag about being so spoiled, but I can… So, I will. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it! 😛


As far as work is concerned, not much to report there.  The powers that be have moved everyone around and literally left us half the computer desks in the process. People have resigned, no one has a clue what’s going on, customers are getting snarky because it’s getting closer to Christmas and the place is an utter shamble! And, on top of all that, the big boss has taken himself away on two weeks’ vacation ergo making none of this his problem. In other words, it’s just another day in the world of customer service. You’d think, after almost 20 years in the industry, I’d be used to this by now … But apparently not. Oh well.


Moving on….


Another thing I’ve managed to do is catch up on all the You Tube content I’ve been missing.  My Subscription list was out of control and over the course of this week I’ve successfully managed to rein it back in. Hard to believe I’ve missed out on so much content! I used to watch You Tube religiously but then social media took over and it fell by the wayside.


It’s funny, I’ve started to realise just how much I relied on Twitter and Facebook. They truly were my connection to the world.  As I mentioned in a previous blog – It feels like I’ve lost a limb and I now I have to learn how to function without it.


At this particular point… I really don’t want to turn FB on again. Ever. It’s so noisy and messy and ugly that I could honestly spend the rest of my life without it. Sadly, I can’t. There are people there who read my Blog and right now with everything switched off … They’re not getting the opportunity to read anything and that makes me sad.


As for Twitter? I miss it. My FAN-MILY is there and I wonder how they are. Besides, unlike FB where I can pretty much leave it in a permanent state of deactivation, I have till the end of the month to switch it back on and I cannot afford to lose 10 years’ worth of Data.  It has a history and is part of who I am, and I would be devastated to lose it.


On that note, I best wrap this up.


Dinner awaits.


Thanks for reading.



The Art Of Hitting The Kill-Switch

I had thought that I’d be feeling a lot worse than this… but you know what? I don’t. I really, really don’t. And that surprises me.


A few days ago, I all but turned my back on Social Media. I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter account. Removed the apps from my phone and the bookmarked links on my PC. Hell, I even removed the Tumblr links and app and that’s not even one of the ones I deactivated.


Not going to lie. Hitting the deactivate button on Facebook lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders and I instantly felt better. Realising I didn’t have to scroll through tons of trash talk in my feed just to get to a post I wanted to read or scrolling through elitist “I’m better than everyone because I’ve been part of  this place longer than you have” bullshit cleared my head like you wouldn’t believe and honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact I have to renew a membership to something through a specific Facebook group at the end of the year – I’d never turn it on again.


Twitter? Well, that’s a little different. Twitter was, until recently, my playground. My safe space on the internet. That is, until I began being trolled by a Northern Hemisphere Mother of two, who has terrible taste in music and a Lawyer for a Husband – who took it upon herself to make my time there as uncomfortable as possible. Almost on a daily basis this person (who over the course of the last six months has had more name changes than the company I work for) found a way to humiliate and belittle me and make fun of me to others. Copying and pasting my tweets (which by and large are completely harmless and not an offence to anyone) across her socials and pointing out what she thought was wrong with them. I mean look, I know my spelling and grammar isn’t the best in the world, but this is Twitter and honestly? Who the fuck cares?


Yes, I know. I am aware of how completely and utterly First World Problem this is and at the age of 42 I should be able to let this slide off me like water from a ducks back, but I can’t. And it’s not the first time I’ve had it happen to me either. The first time I ever experienced this was back in 2008. Not that I want to go into details here, but I will say that it lasted for a period of 12 months and was relentless – again for the same reason. All because of what I wrote online and how I wrote it. Apparently, I am a stickler for upsetting people with my thoughts on things and my “very unique” world view.


This time however, I just found it exhausting. Completely and utterly exhausting. That said, my paranoia is in overdrive and I am fully aware the person in question is lying in wait for me… waiting for me to come back so they can pounce at the first given opportunity to have at me for a misplaced comma or quotation mark. It’s a sad existence I’ll grant you however I can only assume that this person must be unhappily Married or perhaps her Husband is having an affair with someone at the office or maybe her kids are complete and utter assholes … and so, because of this they’ve taken to trolling on the internet in order to forget their troubles at home.


Presumptuous of me, I know. But It’s got to be something, right? I just can’t see how a person can spend their entire lives being a kill joy on the internet.

Not that I’m ever going to have worry about it again … but there it is.


The other side of this is… there is a very small part of me that feels very isolated and alone. I’ve been part of the social media universe for close to a decade and it has become so much a part of my life, in particular over the last few years while I’ve been dealing with all of my medical issues. These issues have kept me pretty much house bound and not able to get out and about without help… so social media has been my way to connect with the world. Switching off makes me feel like I’ve lost a limb, a part of my person that I’ll never get back and having to function without it just feels weird.


That said, it’s only been a few days and I’m not going to be without things to do. I’ve got a whole list of projects I plan to work on while I’m on hiatus and I am looking forward to tackling these things head-on.


On the medical front I continue to enjoy being a Human science experiment. I’ve already had my appointment with my Dental Surgeon and my Osteopath this week and I’ve got appointments with my Physiotherapist, my GP, my Neurologist and my Chiropractor in the weeks leading up to Christmas.




It’s almost impossible to believe there are only eight weeks left of 2019. It only occurred to me the other day when I asked my Husband to flip the calendar over. Looking back over the last year – I find myself thinking that on one hand I haven’t really accomplished much but on the other… compared to where I was in January this year, I’ve come along in leaps and bounds, and I have a lot to be proud of as a result.


Overall, I don’t think that’s a bad thing.


Thanks for reading,