Random Early Morning Thoughts

Friday, 9 October 2020

Naturally, when one is awake at *checks time* 3:30am, one does what one normally does. She decides to write a blog.

This is, of course, after weeks and weeks and weeks of not writing a damn thing due to not having much to say – but now, while one is forcibly awake due to suffering the worst bout of Hay Fever she’s had in 5 years ( and whilst getting over the worst bout of Cellulitis she’s had in 3 years) it’s the perfect time to open ones brain and empty out the trash … er I mean contents … thoughts …. Oh, whatever, it’s too early and I’m doing this with no caffeine so give me a break!

So!

Where to start? Firstly, it’s October. Yes, I know. There’s no need to remind me. Second, here’s a quick recap to catch you up:

  • Since June I’ve suffered Sciatica, a torn muscle in my back and dealt with cellulitis and hay fever
  • Victoria is STILL under lockdown measures – although some restrictions have been lifted. We’re to find out more on Oct 19th
  • I’m still working from home. (In between bouts of everything) and I am hoping to continue to do so into 2021
  • I’ve watched a ton of stuff on Netflix.
  • My Iso-Ass weighs in at approximately 3 tonnes. I am hoping by Jan 2021 we can all begin anew, and I can get rid of it
  • I’ve done a lot of online shopping. So far, a tee-shirt I ordered back in August is the only thing that’s disappeared into the ether. I will be surprised if I see it by Christmas Time
  • There’s been a fuck-ton and I mean a fuck-ton of OL fandom stuff going on
  • Hubby and I celebrated our 14th Wedding Anniversary
  • Miss Floof turned 4
  • I’ve had issues with both my Internet Provider and my Electricity Provider
  • I’ve still yet to do my taxes
  • Overall, 2020 can still suck a ginormous bag of hairy dicks and the sooner it goes into the bin the better (For reasons that are not either OL fandom related or any nice things that have happened)

There. That’s about it

I really should write more. This much is true. But, after being in a state of lockdown since March and not really gone anywhere or done anything … I really don’t have anything of any significance to say

Ceej

Self Preservation – Isolation Blog 9. ….. Dot Points!

I haven’t written a blog in 5 weeks.

 

Seems like a lifetime ago now. It was…. To be honest. So much has changed in that time.

 

Normally, I’d tell you to strap in and hang on to your hat as I regaled you with my goings on … but really, this isn’t one of those type of blogs. It’s just a brief update on life.

 

In dot points … so you don’t get bored.

 

 

  1. Battlestar Sciatica.

 

Yes, I know that was a play on words. And It was horrible. And yes, I’ll show myself out later.

It’s been just over 5 weeks and I’m only just starting to come good now. When they said it takes time to heal – they weren’t kidding!

 

 

  1. Retail therapy

 

In the last few weeks I’ve indulged in a wee bit of retail therapy. I’ve gotten a new computer chair, a foot stool, a handmade doll and some new resistance bands. I don’t do this very often – so this was a bit of a treat to myself

 

  1. Grieved for a friend

 

Three weeks ago – I found out a Twitter buddy of mine (and many others) passed away during routine back surgery.  She was a huge Sam Heughan and Outlander fan and we bonded straight away. I’ve been twitter friends with her for many years. She was also a member of My Peak Challenge. When the news of her passing spread across both the outlander fandom and the Peaker Family, it broke all our hearts. We will miss her very much. I will miss her very much.

 

  1. Melbourne Metro back into lockdown

 

Yep. We’re week … I don’t know … into a 6 week lock down and as of today it’s mandatory to wear a mask whenever you are in public. Failure to do so will result in a $200 fine.

That’s all I’m gonna say on that.

 

  1. Fandom goings on
  • There has been a lot of podcasts and interviews to keep us entertained
  • Sam and Graham have released a book called ClanLands. (Of course, I bought it)
  • We’ve been keeping ourselves amused with Fanfic, other TV show recommendations, fan art, checking in on each other and being generally ridiculous.
  • There was five minutes of drama over Sam not wearing a mask while catching up with Steven Cree – apparently people forgot that the situation in Scotland is different to other parts of the world – and you know, you can take a selfie without a mask on. It’s fine. Either way, it was over before it even begun – with those folks deleting their accounts in a huff, picking up their toys and going home.

  

  1. Work/Life

 

Overall, July has been a sucky month.  I’ve had more work-related technical issues than I care to count (and when you’re working from home it’s even worse) and it’s just been flat out busy.

Visits to my various Dr’s and specialist continue – even during a stage 3 lock down – which I’m incredibly grateful for.

On the fitness front – I’ll admit I’m failing dismally, and the sciatica hasn’t helped any. I can’t use my rower bike and that makes me upset. It’s my main form of exercise and not being able to use it at the moment is as frustrating as all get out.

 

Oh, and it turns out I’ve had this blog for 6 year.

 

Huh. Imagine that.

 

Time flies when you hardly have anything to say

 

Thanks for reading

 

Ceej

 

Self-Preservation Isolation Blog 5 – The New Normal

It’s been a couple of weeks. Sorry about that. Life kind of got in the way in the form of the Outlander finale, high blood pressure, the commencement of working from home and the aggravation of an old injury in my right knee.

So, as you can see, it’s been a lot.

So, where are things now?

For me, I have officially started working from home. After effectively 8 weeks of Long Service Leave – I returned to work in the office for 1 day (May 14th) to collect my trusty laptop, get it set up and prepped to work from home for at least the next two weeks.  (I’m hoping it’s going to continue longer than that, but we’ll see) I have to say, having only done it for two days so far – I’m thoroughly enjoying it. In the 10 years I’ve been at my job, this is the happiest I have felt in a long time.

 

  • I don’t have to worry about public transport (money saver. Win)
  • I don’t have to worry about other people and trying to circumnavigate my way through the Melbourne CBD
  • I don’t have to worry about the lifts (I hate lifts. They’re more terrifying to me than spiders)
  • It means I can pick up more hours. Currently I can only work 3 days a week due to physical difficulties. WFH means I don’t have the extra pressure of travelling and can take on an extra day. This is also good from a $$ as it means more money in my pay packet
  • WFH means my life can become more structured and I can actually have a routine
  • I can actually work any shift I am given. I won’t need to change anything
  • I don’t have to worry about potentially injuring myself at work – should my legs give out and I fall over. At least at home, if this happens, I am in a safe space and I can still do my job
  • The excess noise. Working from home is bliss as I don’t have to deal with the excess noise of my co-workers dealing with customers, the onsite radio station, the testing of the fire alarm and the never-ending noise from the construction site one block away from my workplace. To be able to hear the customer without having to struggle (I need to add I have severe tinnitus in my right ear) is amazing and it’s such a relief.
  • I actually have to wear a bra and look halfway decent. This is due to the fact that my Manager will need to do the occasional video call and I have to look at least partly Human for the interaction

 

On a personal note, it means less stress and worry for my Husband. At least, if I’m working from home, he knows where I am and that I’m going to be OK. (Plus, added bonus… every so often I may get a cup of emotional support soup. Which is always nice)

 

The nightmares have stopped. Which is a relief. During my 8 weeks away (In self-preservation Isolation) I suffered terrible nightmares which often left me feeling utterly miserable, and, on one particular occasion, waking up in the middle of the night in tears. They varied from being stuck in an elevator between Heaven and Hell while being surrounded by Avenger zombies to being lost in giant dental surgeries from the 1960’s to being told I needed to help Covid-19 patients be transported from one place to another while not able to find any PPE to protect me.

I know I had others but (thankfully) I can’t remember them all.

There’s also the issue of Iso-weight. Not gonna lie. I reckon I’ve gained close to 10 kgs (or 22LBs) in the last 8 weeks. I swear, if you were to cut me open you would discover my insides would be made up of Humus and crackers, blocks of Cadbury’s marble chocolate, noodles and tuna, bags of crisps and litres and litres of white wine.

Now, while yes, there have been regular meals with salad thrown in and not a single ounce of take away consumed in that time – it doesn’t change the fact that I have gained weight. Comfort eating is a curse and when your routine is thrown into disarray by a global pandemic that forces your hand to stay home – you tend to forget what your routine is after a while. One day just kind of blurs into another and your entire wardrobe consists of daytime and night-time pyjamas.

The idea of wearing a Bra (as mentioned above) is quite the novel concept at the moment. It turns out I can’t quite use my boobs as a hair tie (that’s how long I’ve gone without a bra folks) but it was getting pretty damn close! WFH came about just in time!

Finally, the only other thing I have to discuss is what’s been happening in the Outlander fandom since the finale… And the truth is…. not much.

Granted, we wailed and cried and cheered and marvelled at the brilliant, award winning performances given by Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe when the finale aired – and we were still dying over it a week later … But outside of that… There’s been not a lot going on. Oh, there’s been the Fandom Police trying to start drama for the sake of it of course, but honestly? I think everyone is just over the drama in this fandom. It’s exhausting and let’s be honest… There’s more important shit happening in the world than a thirst post. So, I’m glad folks are just letting things be.

 

So, I guess that means this is the new normal huh? Don’t sweat the little things and be prepared for the big things and don’t panic about the rest.

 

It’s kind of nice.

 

I like it

 

Ceej

 

 

The Time There Were Five ‘First World Problems’

*Warning* If you don’t like ‘First World Problem’ rants in blogs… You should probably stop reading now.

 

Deep Breath… And go.

 

I’ve been putting off writing this blog for almost a week.

 

For the record, I generally try not to write blogs like this. I never really like discussing the goings on in my life – Unless there’s a way of being able to take the piss out of it and make it funny.

 

Once, I seriously thought about heading in that direction though. A more serious look at the world in which I live. I thought maybe that could be the ‘theme’ for my blog and ultimately? After a few feeble attempts, it became apparent that I wasn’t cut out for that and it stopped me writing my blog for months.

 

This year however, I planned to stick to a writing schedule and blog at least once a week. So far, so good.

Thankfully, Outlander Se 5 is in full swing so there’s been plenty to write about. Don’t worry, I will be doing a 502 recap. Just as soon as I get all this niggly shit off my chest.

 

As I said, if first world whining is not for you-leave now. Don’t hang around till the end. I won’t be offended.

 

  • People in general.

 

Is it just me or is every single person trying their upmost to be an asshole this week?  I swear, there must be something in the water supply because everyone appears to have great difficulty walking due the massive stick shoved up their ass!

 

Working in Customer Service, you learn fairly quickly how to ‘read the room’ and this week’s room is full of folks whose sole purpose for existing to make everyone else’s lives as difficult as possible.

 

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER HUMANS! YOU’RE EMBARRESSING YOURSELVES!

 

 

Speaking of ‘reading the room’ – this brings me to my next point

 

  • Certain People of Influence failing to get a clue on how to read a {twitter} room

 

*Sigh* (And yes, I sighed in BOLD font because that’s how over this shit I am)

 

Look, I love Twitter. I do. But honestly? ……

 

There’s got to be a way of being able to educate people on how and when to respond to certain Twitter replies.

 

I have rolled my eyes that many times, I can honestly say I have done it for time, for Cals, EMOM’s and half a dozen reps on each eye!

 

How many times must we, the decent folk of the Outlander fandom sit and cringe at the sort of folk that are getting their @’s answered?

 

Please stop answering things like that. The tweets of the desperate. The trolls. The ones who fail to appreciate your viewpoint and tell you not to give up your day job. I, for one, cannot see what anyone hopes gain from this…. Other than making sure said people of influence being told to steer clear of the platform all together.

 

  • The constant misspelling/ mispronunciation of OL character names!

 

*Ugh*

 

  1. First off STOP IT!!

 

  • Its JAMIE FRASER!!! It’s not Frazer.  Nor is it Frasier. Stop spelling it that way! (Also, stop pronouncing it that way as well! Do your research before discussing characters please!)
  • CLAIRE There is nobody named Clair in these books OK. No, I don’t CARE if that’s a different variation on a theme – CLAIRE! HER NAME IS CLAIRE!
  • The correct way to spell his name (as per all 8 books to date) is ROGER. It has always been ROGER. DG wrote it that way! Where on Earth did Rodger come from? No. Just no.

 

There are others. But I’d be here all day if I pointed out every single one of them. I know. I know. You can come at me and argue about the different variations of the spelling of names and that, in some cases, English Is a second or third language – but the books have been around since 1991 and to see the character names butchered like that … makes my blood boil!  Spell the character names as they are from the books. That’s all I ask!

 

 

  • Frustrations of a personal nature

 

Do you remember how I said I generally don’t like talking about this? Well, I still don’t. But here we are.

 

Currently, as I write this, my right knee is giving me grief. I’ve had two rather bad falls in as many weeks and as a result, its angry.

 

I’m meant to be almost completely ready for a week-long trip to Brisbane in March. By now, I should be at least 10kgs lighter than I was at the beginning of the year. By now I should be pretty much be able to dance around the airport unaided. (figuratively speaking) and it appears my body has other ideas.

 

I’ve been stressing a lot this last month. Not going to lie. There are a few … family matters that have been playing on my mind.

Realistically, they’re happy moments for those involved (I hope) but my wondering where I fit into these situations has me … just kind of floundering.

I’m sure the feeling will pass, and a resolution found, and I can move on eventually, but for the moment … I’m feeling very much on the outer and its rubbing me the wrong way.

 

The consequences of my emotional state has led to a bout of (rather inconvenient) comfort eating – in the form of Yumi Hummus and crackers. A lot of Hummus and crackers. Suffice to say, I’ve stacked on the weight. Not to mention wine. I’ve also drank a fair amount of wine this month and it has not done anything for the waistline. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still been doing my weekly PT sessions and using the rower bike – but it’s just not enough to keep the weight off.

 

Add to that – I’m also back on the contraceptive pill to try and regulate my cycle. That has also contributed to the weight gain. (That’s all I’m going to say about that)

 

There’s also the fact I hate my body. I hate the fact that its broken and it’s so hard to fix. I hate the fact that at almost 43 years old – I still need help with doing so many mundane and ordinary things.

As I said, I’m flying to Brisbane in a little over a week and I’m terrified something is going to go wrong. I mean, my bestie is as fit as fuck and could probably carry me over her shoulder if needed … but still. I mean, I have a week to get things to settle and all will be well… doesn’t mean it doesn’t play on the back of my mind.

 

 

  • Will I? Won’t I? – Can I? Can’t I?

  

The question that causes me internal conflict. Basically, this is to do with my working situation

 

In short:

  1. I can stay at 3 days per week or
  2. I can take up another day and work 4 days a week

 

If I take A)

  • Things will remain as they are
  • It will take longer to pay off my work debt
  • It will mean I can look at potentially other avenues of income from home to make up the slack

 

If I take B)

  • An extra $200 in my pay per fortnight.
  • Extra $$ is good and will ease the grind on the hip pocket
  • Pay debts off a little quicker.

 

But the question is … Can I do it? Can my body, with thigs like they are, take on an extra workday. Currently, I’d say no. But… then again… compared to where I was a year ago… hell, even 6 months ago… I could still try for 4 days a week.

 

So, you see? The battle rages on and neither side has come up with a final solution.

 

That’s where I am right now.

 

Told you it was very first world.

 

Getting it off my chest and out there – hopefully will help.

 

In the meantime, I ‘m going to rest up my knee and hope for the best

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Ceej.

 

 

 

 

 

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Just coz a girls gotta – you know! Enter if you haven’t! I have!

Outlander Online

To celebrate the upcoming Season 5 of Outlander, which premiere Feb.16th, and to say thank you for the kindness and generosity that you all have shown myself and Marie these past 6 months, we are having a GIANT giveaway full of Outlander goodies!! Special shoutout to Nina Wozniak for graciously donating one of her many beautiful pieces. To visit her site click here

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  2. A Signed Copy of The Making of Outlander – The Official Guide To Seasons Three and Four By Tara Bennett
  3. Outlander 2020 Engagement Calendar
  4. Outlander Season 4 Soundtrack
  5. Outlander Bee and Standing Stone Pendent from Nina Wozniak
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You have until Feb…

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And So It Came To Pass

That I looked at the time and said  “Shit me! I better get my ass into gear and write a blog!”

 

So, here I am …. Trying. Honestly.

 

At the moment I am writing letters to people. It’s been a lot of fun. I’m enjoying it and finding it easier to write with each letter. So hopefully, that’ll help with this.

 

There’s not really much to cover this week. So, I’ll give you a run down in a series of dot points

 

  • Sam and Caitriona have killed us all 84,000 times over.
  • I’ve discovered I’m not muted and the Universe is my friend
  • I’ve worked lates this last week and its been the worst ever. I got told to either Fuck Off, Fuck You or Go Fuck Yourself so many times .. I am starting to wonder if i am a truly horrible person
  • Toothpaste is not my friend. ( Long story. Next weeks blog for sure)
  • More Dr’s apts
  • Fluid Retention tablets are a thing now. Woo. ( Again, another blog for next week)
  • I’ve lost 4.1kgs since Jan 01.

 

And that’s about it

 

This blog isn’t really anything. It’s simply to keep me to a posting schedule and accountable

 

Thanks for reading anyway,

 

Ceej

2020 … It begins

Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2020 and the start of a new decade!

Let’s see if I can maintain a Blogging schedule this time, shall we?

Firstly, I hope you like the new look. It’s the best I could do since both Canva and Pic Monkey are no longer free to use and have decided that 30 day ‘Free Trails’ are better than happy customers.

2019 left us with a bitter taste in our mouths didn’t it? It wasn’t great. Not by a long shot. The political upheaval, the celebrity bullshit, the fact Australia was on fire and our “Great Bloke” of a PM went on holiday to Hawaii.

At time of writing, a large majority of the country is still ablaze. We can now add torrential rain and possible cyclone into the mix.

Climate change? What was that again?

*Sigh*

Anyway, enough on that. I’m already in a mood and that will only make it worse

Focusing more on the personal front, this year I plan to “SELF CARE” more. If that make sense. I plan to stay away from as much stress and drama as possible (Though, that could be too little too late on that score already – and we’re only 11 days into the New Year.)

Things I plan to do:

  • Eat Healthy.

So, last year I gained all 15kgs back that I lost the year before. This was mainly due to my addiction to (blocks) of chocolate and, towards the end of the year, Doritos. Add to that my constant Hungry Jacks breakfast wraps with extra hash browns on the side and my (rather large) Whisky consumption. (And I cannot accept it’s good for you. I can’t! Or I’ll never be able to function again -ever! LOL) So, this year it’s all about moderation, cutting back a lot of crap food and eating smaller portions. Water is now my jam and I have so many bottles of it in my fridge – it takes up an entire shelf!

  • Exercise

The thing is with exercise, we’ve never truly been friends. Even after buying a recumbent rower bike back in August last year. I still found myself making excuses not to use it (I’m too tired, I’m working the late shift and don’t have time, I’m on AF and don’t feel like it) and this year I’ve decided I’m going to commit to using it more. I want to lose the 15kgs I put back on (I’m back to my original pre MPC weight of 96.6Kgs – UGH) and then some. Mind you, I don’t plan to deprive myself of everything – I just need to stick to a healthy eating schedule and allow a cheat day every now and then just to balance things out.

  • Write More

In an effort to get my lazy ass off the ground writing, I’ve committed to the following:

  • Writing letters to Pen Pals
  • Doing a complete rewrite of Project Sapphire Eyes (more on that later)
  • Stick to a weekly blogging schedule.

These 3 things I hope, will get me into a rhythm moving forward. I’m tired of being scared of what people *may* think of my work- so I’m just going to get on with it and hope for the best.

  • Self-Care

As I mentioned, this year will be about self- care. Aside from the things in this list, I plan to destress a lot more and not get so involved in drama.

In particular, Online drama.  I’ve only come to this decision recently and I think it’s for the best. I’ve found myself becoming too emotionally invested in things online (especially in the Outlander fandom) and I’ve found myself getting hurt, angry and upset at things I have no control over. I’m so done with things making me angry and upset. That’s not who I am, and the negativity wears me down.

 

I plan to read a lot more as well. When I took a social media break in November last year, I rediscovered the joy of sitting quietly and reading. It was nice. I may even take another month away from socials as part of that – but we’ll see.

Anyway, that’s the first blog down for the year.  Hope you like it.

Thanks for reading,

Ceej

 

 

 

2019 … A ( Short) Wrap Up Post

2019 …. Wrap Up Post

 

This is probably going to be the shortest wrap up post I’ve ever written but here it goes …

 

2019 was probably one of the worst years on record.

There was so much bullshit, un-necessary drama, childish behaviour and exhaustive goings on that, I for one, will be glad to see the back of it.

Actually, I can’t even be bothered writing a long-winded essay about 2019 … So, here it is in dot points

 

  • Politics was exhausting
  • Climate Change is really a thing… And it was ignored …again
  • Everything is NOT awesome
  • Movies and Music this year was meh for the most part this year

 

On a personal note:

 

  • I got sick at lot this year – Boo
  • My workplace became a communist state (long story)
  • I took down an internet troll
  • I saw a side to the internet I didn’t like, and it’s changed my opinion forever
  • I finally found a specialist who CAN help me with my medical conditions and HAS helped me! Moving forward, I am down 1 less medication and 2 specialists #Winning
  • I tried (And failed) to keep to a regular blog posting schedule – but what else is new
  • I signed up for MPC 2020

 

There was some other stuff but It’s currently 5:08am and I don’t even know why I’m awake.

 

Anyway, that’s it for my 2019 wrap up post.

 

If it could just do as all a favour and end … that’d be great.

 

Ceej